“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7, NIV
This verse given to us by Paul has been on my mind as I reflect on what it has truly meant to surrender my plans for those whom God has for me. In particular, I’ve seen this manifest since I moved to Texas in July 2022 and began grad school away from my hometown and a sense of groundedness.
I prayed fervently for the two years before my move, asking God to place me in a city wherein I would be well-equipped to develop my faith as I entered my mid-twenties. I wanted to be somewhere with a wide array of options so as not to limit the possibilities for a church home. I was ecstatic when I learned I would be moving to the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, as the city is known for housing a church on every corner.
I knew what I was looking for, but I didn’t know exactly where I would find it. I grew up in the Lutheran church while being an active member of a large non-denominational youth group, graduated from a Baptist University, and had been attending a Methodist church while working on my Masters’s degree. My dad came from a large Irish Catholic family before converting to Protestantism, and my mom grew up non-denominational. Thus, I had exposure to many denominations and schools of thought within the canon. As such, I wasn’t focused on finding a church of a particular denomination, but more so one that would help me to mature in my faith. Regardless of where that might be, I wrote down four necessities I wanted from my next church home:
● A preaching model rooted in scripture over personal anecdotes
● A lead pastor who is accessible and relatable
● A thriving community of young adults
● Opportunities for service, groups, and events
During my first year living in Fort Worth, I must have attended at least 20 different churches. I wanted to be certain the church I chose hit every one of the bullets on my wish list. I attended every large church of the mainline denominations, the megachurches, the churches with pastors who were routinely on tour or speaking elsewhere, and the churches that seemed a little unsure of who they wanted to be. However, when I would find a church I liked, there always seemed to be something missing. I didn’t like the preaching style of the lead pastor, the ‘young’ adults were in their forties with middle schoolers, there weren’t any small groups, the service was too relaxed, too rigid, etc. These frustrations culminated at the beginning of this past summer, as I was anxious about the lack of rootedness to a singular church community and dissuaded from trying yet another church.
I took a few weeks away from attending a service to meditate in prayer and realized I had spent too much time asking God for a perfect situation and trying to control the outcome, instead of trusting His guidance. I had been telling God what I needed instead of listening to what it was He had prepared for me. I prayed for clarity instead of just a right fit, discernment above my expectations. I didn’t want to necessarily compromise what I wanted out of a church, but through prayer, I came to an understanding that my church community did not have to exist in one space.
I had been so focused on getting everything out of one church that I was distracted from the fact that several places offered what I was looking for. I reconnected with a midweek non-denominational ministry that provides a space for young adults to gather and worship; the service does not require membership to the home church where the ministry takes place and offers a host of events throughout the year. Graduate students from my department and I began a weekly bible study with an emphasis on ecumenicalism—not two of us share the same denominational affiliation. And I joined a church with a pastor who I knew would challenge me in my faith and embolden me to continue to ask questions, seek answers, and grow closer in my relationship with God.
I remembered my roots in being a part of multiple faith bodies and denominations. I never was learning from one pastor, one congregation, or one author. I was constantly seeking a host of perspectives and had been sustained through several Christian outlets. I drew comfort in embracing the fact that fellowship does not have to grow from a single seed, nor be confined to one space. For anyone frustrated or anxious that they cannot find the perfect situation, take heart in knowing there isn’t one. There is no perfect church body, but we should be encouraged by our perfect God who knows what is best for each of us.
This is such a wonderful read! I love the way you let God guide you by listening and drawing near to him. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own plans for our lives, even when we think we are following God’s will. Such a powerful image of surrender & fully trusting God to lead you where you needed to be.
Great piece, Tristan! So many of us pray in ways that ask God for specific things in specific ways, rather than praying to learn how to surrender and accept how God wants things. This post is such a good reminder and example that we all need to remember so that we surrender!
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I really like that you pointed out “church community [does] not have to exist in one space.”