Like a lot of people, I went through a period where I was obsessed with the show Friends. I can tell myself all day long that it’s because Joey was so funny or Monica made me feel seen as a lovable control freak, but looking back I know it was because I couldn’t believe how all six of those characters were so close and “living their best lives” as adults who had such a solid support system. Even at sixteen I knew there was something different about that. I thought it was my first introduction to what a community could look like.
What I failed to see was that God had been trying to show me since I was a kid growing up in church. Vacation Bible School was a place for kids all over the community, raised in church or not, to get to know each other through crafts, music, and a united goal of learning about Jesus. As a teen, I remember looking forward to Wednesday nights with my youth group, but it hadn’t clicked for me what it meant to have each other’s backs without hesitation. We learned scripture, worshiped, went to camps, and genuinely learned to love each other and the Lord. But I still didn’t get it. It being what it meant to truly live life together.
“Live life together” was a phrase I heard when I got to college. Admittedly, I scoffed at it at first because it sounded like one of those buzz-phrases that sounded good but was…too much work. And then I met a group at my church that made me realize the work was worth it. Each of us supplemented what the others needed—like Paul said in Romans 12:6. “According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts…” is a promise that we will have each other. But we have to realize we need each other in that way.
Theologian Paul David Tripp says that “[community] is not a luxury. It is a spiritual necessity.” This past year has been proof of that for me. I started my PhD in Rhetoric and Composition in Fall 2023 at the same institution where I completed my MA, and it was a blessing to grow with other believers in my community there. It can be very tough to be a Christian in secular graduate programs, so knowing all of us can lift each other up in prayer and gathering to read scripture has shown me what friends are. I joined a women’s Bible study at the local church where my husband and I attend, and these ladies have also become a cornerstone for me. My school friends and church friends are ones to which I can bring any fear or burden, any joy and celebration, and all of the things in between. They speak truth to me, and I to them. We “share with the saints in their needs” and “pursue hospitality” the way Paul calls for further down in Romans 12.
For example, I have the spiritual gift of faith that often sustains me, but I struggle in the realm of prayer. One of my friends is an absolute prayer warrior and usually asks for encouragement that requires great faith. We fight for one another and lean on the truth of Christ’s gospel in each thing. We speak life into one another while deep cleaning apartments for moving out. There’s a lot of baby holding in our Bible study. Delivering necessities for sick kids (and sick adults). No matter what is needed, I know someone is available. Jesus showed us what it meant to love one another with His apostles, so there is comfort in knowing we can pursue the same level of care with those He knows we need in each season of life.
Friends is still a comfort show to me. I still see the gospel in so many ways through their antics in the highs and lows of adult life.
The Bible is better though.
Real life is better.
Through their actions, words, and faith, every member of my community now tells me “I’ll be there for you.” And I’ll be there for them too.
